When I was courting my husband, we agreed on setting boundaries for visitations. He had a covenant to keep. I did too. When our rendezvous was not in a restaurant, my family house and sometimes his sister’s were accessed. There was enough space in both houses to allow us a measure of privacy, yet under some watch. It was just our own method. Find what works well for both of you and apply it.
Sexual purity is a godly virtue. It stems from a renewed mind that is set to please God. It is not the same as abstinence. Sexual purity is much more than that. It is a spiritual exercise. It is honouring God in your body understanding that you have been bought with a price.
A wholesome relationship will not open you up to gratifying the lusts of the flesh because the body is for the Lord, not for gratifying of the flesh (1 Corinthians 6:13).
Sexual immorality is not just a desire to gratify sexual craving. It is perversion. It is Satan’s way of making it seem like you can have it all outside marriage. Don’t buy it! In the words of Pastor Matt Chandler, “Nothing good has ever come from a boy and girl cuddling on the couch, watching a movie from 11:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m.” It all starts with physical contact of the intimate kind. Holding hands, a hug or a peck are certainly not the same as deep kissing and other forms of foreplay. And once aroused, you will probably find that surge of erotic desire overwhelming.
Below are 7 Proven Guidelines for Godly Dating.
1. Consult God before dating anyone: It is advisable to get a divine green light before dating anyone or going into a relationship. Before I started taking my husband’s overtures seriously, I consulted the Lord and asked for His will. I prayed and got the spiritual conviction I needed. God who created you knows who will complement you best and help you become what He has planned for you to be.
Thereafter, make God the centre of your relationship. Pray and study the Bible together, if possible. A three-fold cord is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). He will moderate your interactions, pruning the negative and amplifying the positive for the best outcome.
2. Have reasonable expectations: Do not overburden your partner with demands. This is mostly addressed to girls. God is still your Jehovah Jireh. Accept what your partner can afford and look forward to a better tomorrow. Steer clear of the current craze for Assurance started by Nigerian singer, Davido. You can read about it via the Related Post below.
3. Desist from every appearance of evil: Avoid spending time in places where other people will think wrongly of you and your partner. You should be extremely careful about visiting each other alone. You have no business locking yourselves up in a closet, much less staying over for the night. Make no room for things (conversations, movies and music) that can stir up and awaken the flesh (Songs 2:7;3:5;8:4).
4. Avoid ungodly companions who will pressure you to go against the will of God: Evil association will always corrupt good manners. It is also in your best interest that your family is aware. That, in itself, provides an eagle-eyed check on your relationship.
5. Employ group dating: This helps friends who profess godliness to keep a close eye on one another, especially when the parties involved are just starting their relationships. Also the security problems of today and the issues of wolves in sheep’s clothing amongst Christians will sometimes require that you do not just hang out with a date all by yourself. Every ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ who comes to church may not be a true disciple of Christ. Many have been destroyed this way. Group dating prevents or, at least, lessens the sexual tension that results when you’re alone with your date and saves you from responding to certain fleshly lust. It also makes your time together more enriching because of the input of the other couples.
6. Encourage each other’s wholesome aspirations: Take an interest in your partner’s pursuits. Gently discourage their unhealthy interests and enthusiastically support the noble ones. If, for instance, they love to sing but are self-conscious about it, you could have them sing for you, commend their ability and nudge them towards how they can improve. Don’t make fun of them or flatter them. Truthfulness is paramount if you actually want to help them.
7. Have a life: Be busy with whatever your hand finds to do. Be busy fulfilling purpose so that you don’t tie yourself around your partner. Clinginess can sometimes pretty much suck the juice out of a relationship.
PRAYER:
Guide my steps in every relationship I have, dear Lord, and may they honour you even as they help me to fulfil my purpose in life in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Sexual purity is a godly virtue. It stems from a renewed mind that is set to please God. It is not the same as abstinence. Sexual purity is much more than that. It is a spiritual exercise. It is honouring God in your body understanding that you have been bought with a price.
A wholesome relationship will not open you up to gratifying the lusts of the flesh because the body is for the Lord, not for gratifying of the flesh (1 Corinthians 6:13).
Sexual immorality is not just a desire to gratify sexual craving. It is perversion. It is Satan’s way of making it seem like you can have it all outside marriage. Don’t buy it! In the words of Pastor Matt Chandler, “Nothing good has ever come from a boy and girl cuddling on the couch, watching a movie from 11:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m.” It all starts with physical contact of the intimate kind. Holding hands, a hug or a peck are certainly not the same as deep kissing and other forms of foreplay. And once aroused, you will probably find that surge of erotic desire overwhelming.
Below are 7 Proven Guidelines for Godly Dating.
1. Consult God before dating anyone: It is advisable to get a divine green light before dating anyone or going into a relationship. Before I started taking my husband’s overtures seriously, I consulted the Lord and asked for His will. I prayed and got the spiritual conviction I needed. God who created you knows who will complement you best and help you become what He has planned for you to be.
Thereafter, make God the centre of your relationship. Pray and study the Bible together, if possible. A three-fold cord is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). He will moderate your interactions, pruning the negative and amplifying the positive for the best outcome.
2. Have reasonable expectations: Do not overburden your partner with demands. This is mostly addressed to girls. God is still your Jehovah Jireh. Accept what your partner can afford and look forward to a better tomorrow. Steer clear of the current craze for Assurance started by Nigerian singer, Davido. You can read about it via the Related Post below.
3. Desist from every appearance of evil: Avoid spending time in places where other people will think wrongly of you and your partner. You should be extremely careful about visiting each other alone. You have no business locking yourselves up in a closet, much less staying over for the night. Make no room for things (conversations, movies and music) that can stir up and awaken the flesh (Songs 2:7;3:5;8:4).
4. Avoid ungodly companions who will pressure you to go against the will of God: Evil association will always corrupt good manners. It is also in your best interest that your family is aware. That, in itself, provides an eagle-eyed check on your relationship.
5. Employ group dating: This helps friends who profess godliness to keep a close eye on one another, especially when the parties involved are just starting their relationships. Also the security problems of today and the issues of wolves in sheep’s clothing amongst Christians will sometimes require that you do not just hang out with a date all by yourself. Every ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ who comes to church may not be a true disciple of Christ. Many have been destroyed this way. Group dating prevents or, at least, lessens the sexual tension that results when you’re alone with your date and saves you from responding to certain fleshly lust. It also makes your time together more enriching because of the input of the other couples.
6. Encourage each other’s wholesome aspirations: Take an interest in your partner’s pursuits. Gently discourage their unhealthy interests and enthusiastically support the noble ones. If, for instance, they love to sing but are self-conscious about it, you could have them sing for you, commend their ability and nudge them towards how they can improve. Don’t make fun of them or flatter them. Truthfulness is paramount if you actually want to help them.
7. Have a life: Be busy with whatever your hand finds to do. Be busy fulfilling purpose so that you don’t tie yourself around your partner. Clinginess can sometimes pretty much suck the juice out of a relationship.
PRAYER:
Guide my steps in every relationship I have, dear Lord, and may they honour you even as they help me to fulfil my purpose in life in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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